The first three years of life are critical periods for language development. Many parenting books emphasize the importance of supporting this development through engagement with a caregiver. As a parent, I read that I had the potential ability to interpret my child’s different cries and would then be able to respond appropriately. Honestly, it was a guessing game at times and continues to be so even as they have gotten older. The truth is, parenting is challenging and sometimes we have no idea why our kids are crying or screaming. However, teaching children ways to communicate more effectively, particularly when it comes to emotions, helps to lessen some of the challenges ahead.
A child’s ability to recognize and verbally communicate feelings is a skill that is just as important as learning to read and write. It is a skill that helps us navigate relationships and self regulate our own emotions. When we can talk about an intense feeling, it may become less overwhelming and something more tangible that we can deal with. When we have words or labels to identify our emotions, those around us are better able to validate and effectively support our management of those feelings. In turn, this helps us internalize the validity of our own emotions and utilize skills to try to cope with them ourselves.
Now that we’ve established the importance of having a vocabulary for feelings, let’s talk about how to teach children this vocabulary. One way is to help a child recognize what the feeling or emotion looks like and then pair it with the appropriate word. Great tools to help with this can be found in the My Moods, My Choices visual aid resources:
These visual aid resources can be incorporated into daily routines. Playing games with kids can teach and reinforce their ability to label emotions. Here are some suggestions on how this can be done:
Additional great suggestions can be found in publications by Vanderbilt University and the Georgetown University Center for Child and Human Development.
Just like learning a native language in a foreign country to more effectively explore and navigate that country, learning a language for our feelings helps us navigate our social world. Once this language is learned, we can more effectively ask for help, help those around us, and cope with our emotions. Regulating our own emotions is an important skill to develop. Suggestions on how to develop this skill can be found in the My Moods, My Choices Flipbook and a website such as Kids Matter.
Our emotional development is just as important as our physical development. As human beings, we live in a social world and navigate it with different degrees of challenges. Trying to equip ourselves with the language and skills to help us do this effectively benefits all, especially our children.
Written by Kari Hancock, MD, a child psychiatrist and mom, who has worked with kids, caregivers, teachers, and medical professionals for over 13 years.
One of my cherished memories from growing up is about family stories. Each summer my parents would rent a lake house and relatives would visit in a bit of a revolving-door style. Eventually, they would all have made a visit, often extended over several weeks. In the evenings we would sit around in the living room or outside around a campfire, and the stories would begin to flow.